1. Intro

We have been busy for the last month. We went out of town for Thanksgiving, our kids have had a lot of activities, and I had a medical procedure. These kept us busy and distracted enough that my husband’s control of me was at best minimum. We spent Thanksgiving break visiting some dear family friends out of town. When we are out of town visiting friends or family and staying in their home we are obviously not going to engage in any physical correction or connection. Usually we get a guest room or a child’s room without a lock so even the hope of sexual connection isn’t there. No connective or corrective spankings will be occurring under those circumstances. The last time we were visiting my sister we were able to go away to a hotel on an anniversary for a night so we did get some time there. Yet that was only one night out of ten. There was lots of connective spanking and sex on that one night making up for lost time!

2. Bossy and controlling

Generally, when we are visiting friends or family my husband goes into relax mode, which is very non-controlling. We are both happy visiting with our loved ones and so we can get by with a little less connecting. We spend a lot of time dividing up into men’s and women’s groups. The men go golfing or to a guy flick or play a board game. The women take the kids here or there or cook or just visit. There is very little him and me time. We get into bed each night and I always feel distant. We don’t hug or kiss. We just roll over and go to sleep. I hate that feeling and it’s hard to get back to closeness after we have been distant. He usually shows no authority whatsoever when we are on these vacations unless he and I get away alone. I don’t think he feels comfortable being controlling in those situations. It strikes too strong a chord against the cultural tone of our families and out of town friends. He plays the passive husband that he used to be. He doesn’t yet know how to maintain his authority without seeming bossy and controlling in the eyes of our loved ones.

3. Abusive controlling man

I understand this and I am not angry about it. I am not really even frustrated. I guess I am just a bit saddened by the closeness we lose. He doesn’t want to be considered an abusive controlling man by others who wouldn’t understand that while I in no way want to be abused I love being controlled. We make the best of it and try to reconnect when we get home. It usually takes a while to feel back to normal again. In addition to that I had a minor medical procedure that would require the doctor to see my rear end. My husband did not want to leave any proof of our unconventional lifestyle and neither did I. It seems to me there are rarely marks and yet I can see only so much of myself! He tells me sometimes there are some marks and he doesn’t want to take a chance. So again no spankings for a week and very little sex for that week.

4. Working on maintaining control

All in all it has been tough on our closeness. He is working on maintaining control without the use of physical correction. It works a little bit and yet when I know he won’t spank me I am certainly not as likely to accept his control. He does things like not allowing me to have any alcoholic beverages on any day when I get snotty or threatening to take away other privileges. That works fairly well. I am not so rebellious that I would not accept his consequences. Sometimes he physically restrains me or squeezes some part of my body hard enough that I say “OK I’ll do what you say!” He doesn’t have to spank me to remind me of his physical superiority. I can feel it in other ways. I love it when he does that. Yet he doesn’t do it too often. He is stressed and busy right now. I don’t think he has the emotional energy to deal with me that way.

5. Willingness to submit an authority

Saturday night our out of town company will be gone and I will be well enough from my procedure that I have a whopper coming. I am excited and nervous at the same time. I know it will probably be a hard one and I know I have it coming. I have been snotty and disobedient many times lately. I don’t like it when I’m like that and neither does he. I have been pushing his buttons to feel his control. We both know I need this spanking. I need it emotionally. I need to feel his control in a physical way. He needs to feel the control he owns. It helps him realize his control outside of the bedroom. It confirms his dominance over me and my willingness to submit to his authority and my desire for him to rule me.

6. Final Words

I am afraid yet I am looking forward to Saturday. I miss feeling his dominance in that physical way. I miss the sexual connection we find afterwards. I miss the emotional closeness we feel for days afterwards. I miss the respect I feel for him when he is assertive. I love that side of him and I so rarely get to see it or feel it lately. Perhaps we will come to a place where we can maintain that connectedness without any physical corrections. We are getting closer to that place but so far we aren’t there yet.